Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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