Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
