One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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