I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
