But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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