dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
