he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
