Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
