saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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