It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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