roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Damn victory sex feels great
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
