This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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