I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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