whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize