other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
