So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He felt like a one man threesome
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
