We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
