great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
