So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
