covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm at about main and main street
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize