People in love make me want to vomit
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
