he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
