..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
a search helicopter?!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
