I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
