she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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