from now on my penis is your penis
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
