Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
