I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
