Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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