Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
