I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
