all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
