it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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