Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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