I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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