No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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