You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
What drink are we having for lunch?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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