Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
