operation have a gay friend backfired
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
