Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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