My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
