that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
a search helicopter?!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
