im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
