why do cheetos always look like penises
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
