OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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