She announced her abortion via fbk
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
