Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I can text with my tongue
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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