So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
