Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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