If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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