I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
