Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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