DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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