yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
