we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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