I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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