she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
