I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
