what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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