I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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