Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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