i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
