hotel room ftw
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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